"The Loneliness Chronicles: 5 Reasons I Don't Have A Friend and 8 Things To Do If You Have No Friends"
Loneliness is an unfortunate and inevitable feeling that happens to everyone. Feeling lonely and friendless can be a challenging experience. Loneliness doesn’t have an expiration date. You might have many periods of loneliness in your lifetime, but I hope this list gives you some insight into how to tackle it. This will help you explore the reasons behind the lack of friends and provide insights for others, in a similar situation. What Are The Reasons: • The Fear Of Rejection Fear of rejection often holds me back from initiating new friendships. People who fear rejection may struggle with low self-esteem, lack of enthusiasm, shame, or guilt. They are afraid of not being liked, being abandoned, not fitting in, or being alone. They spend a lot of time and energy worrying about what others think of them. I hate to be a cliche, but a time when I felt the most alone was when my best friend had another, friend. I began to feel like the other friend is filling up my space, I began so jealous of her, and I dislike the other friend for coming in between us. At that point in my life, all I do revolves around her, and I had no time for any other friends except my significant other which meant that I neglected my affiliate with friends and myself. When things started to go south between us, I had to face a harsh validity that I didn’t have much of a life beyond our friendships. So for the first time, in a long time, I was alone and I was lonely. Going through these specific seasons of loneliness left me with a lot of life lessons. Social rejection increases anger, anxiety, depression, jealousy, and sadness. It reduces performance on difficult intellectual tasks and can also contribute to aggression and poor impulse control. It can prevent people from putting themselves out there, meeting new people, and making connections. • Lack Of Social Skills Insufficient social skills have been a significant obstacle in my quest for friendship. Most times I struggle with social skills such as active listening, maintaining conversation, and small talk. Reasons Behind The Lack Of Social Skills: 1. Shyness: Some people are naturally shy and need help to get along with others. Nervous people will often be quiet and won't engage in group activities. 2. Bullying: Bullies have no problem making decisions for others because they like to control them and make them feel bad about themselves. They often pick on the weak who are shy or less popular with their peers. 3. Fear of getting in trouble: Some are afraid of doing the wrong things, so they never make any decisions for themselves and try not to stand out from the crowd. • Being Toxic You always leave people in a bad mood, and then you say goodbye, and your friends are happier when you leave than when you're around. It could be the things you say or the choice of words you use to say. Things you say that just make people want to curl their toes around you. It’s hard to admit that you might be a toxic friend. But, it’s necessary if you want to change your ways and hold on to friendship. • You Don’t Take Personal Responsibility There is nothing worse than someone who thinks they can do no wrong. Think about it, do you like people who never take responsibility for their part in something? Or perhaps, you're the one who struggles to admit when you're wrong. Sometimes it’s hard to admit that we've done something wrong or made a mistake. Accepting responsibility for our actions is a sign of emotional maturity; it demonstrates self-awareness and a belief that we can change and learn to do better. We have trouble taking responsibility because we feel entitled. Some people think they are superior to others and therefore are entitled to do what they want without bearing the consequences. Also, people think they are perfect in everything they do (perfectionism). They expect themselves to be perfect or have impossibly high standards, this set of people has trouble acknowledging their mistakes and shortcoming. • You Forget Your Friends When You Don’t Need Them Do you pay attention to your friends? Or do you just ignore your friends and their calls/texts when you're having fun with someone else? Some even avoid their friends when they start dating someone new. You need to think about this one. You may not realize it, but you may be taking your friends for granted and assuming they will always stick around for you, whether you have time for them or not. Try and avoid such situations or else you would lose some good friends forever. 8 Things To Do If You Have No Friends • Don't be afraid to meet new people • Be open-minded • Volunteer your time • Don't be afraid of rejection • Find people who have similar interests • Work on your social anxiety or shyness • Be friendly • Don't become a social media hermit
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